‘Rape & Beg’ Nigerian Author Elnathan John Addreses Sexual Consent Using This Analogy

Following the ongoing rape saga, Nigerian author Elnathan John has come out to address the issue of sexual consent using this analogy, read below.

“Seeing some disturbing tweets on my TL. Rape doesn’t have to be violent. Rape can happen AFTER one has given consent for an act of intimacy & not another (for e.g.: I only want to cuddle. I don’t want to have sex. Or, I don’t want anal. Or, I just want to kiss. No penetration.)

Also, “what were you doing in X’s bedroom” is a stupid, unhelpful reaction to “X raped me”.
You can be raped by your lover, your spouse, your friend, your sibling, your relative.

How to know when the next step will be rape (just a few examples):
1. Someone has said any of the following:
-stop
-no
-not now
-I don’t like it
-it hurts
-I want to leave

2. Someone is clearly refusing to participate in the activity
3. Someone pushes you away

Things that are totally IRRELEVANT in wondering if it is rape or not:
-They allowed be have sex with them before
-They allowed me to touch them just now
-They spent the night at my house
-They slept in the same bed as me
-They wore revealing clothing
-They didn’t scream or fight

Imagine this conversation with a waiter:
Waiter: Glad you chose this restaurant, would you like our Tiramisu?
You: No I am happy with my meal thanks
W: I mean, you came to our restaurant. Why come if you don’t want Tiramisu?
You: I am fine really.
W: Ok, just the tip of the spoon

You: *baffled as waiter pushes teaspoon with Tiramisu into your mouth*
W: See I told you you’d love our Tiramisu
You: You just forced me to eat your Tiramisu
W: Nah. You walked in here. If you hated it, why didn’t you scream? Look at your belt, unfastened, shows you wanted more.

Afterward…
You: *speaks to a policeman about incident*
P: What were you doing when the waiter was pushing the teaspoon into your mouth
You: I was stunned.
P: And you just sat there? Didn’t scream or anything?
You: Huh?
P: Why were you there even? Thought you had a kitchen.

You: I like the restaurant. I wanted to eat out.
P: So why are you complaining about the Tiramisu
You: I didn’t go there for Tiramisu. I already had my meal. Waiter forced it on me.
P: So you ate their meal but now complain about the Tiramisu. Is it that it tasted bad?”

Image Credit; InstablogNja